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  My name is Aayush. I come from Balkhu, Kathmandu. I was born in a regular middle-class Nepalese family. My father is a civil engineer, which has inspired me to become something great despite of my rough full past.  I didn’t want to live in a crowded city, so I chose Damak. Flying to Damak alone and starting a new life in a totally different place was a really huge challenge for me at first but now everything is much better. Adjusting to listening the language takes time and sometimes I missed my family and friends in Kathmandu a lot. At The College, I have a number of great friends who I get along well with. They are from different places  including Ilam, Biratnagar,Kathmandu  . Many of them are my classmates and others I met in the common room, the Social Club or through mutual friends. Even though we’re from different places with distinct cultures, we understand and respect each other. In class, whenever someone has difficulty studying,  everyone is kind and...

“The only way we can change the way we feel is by becoming aware of our inner experience and learning to befriend what is going inside ourselves.” ~Bessel A. van der Kolk Learning to be alone as an adult has been a struggle for me. It’s taken quite a while for me to adjust to spending periods of time by myself. It may sound strange to those who know me because I am most definitely an introvert and need my quiet time. However, my time alone was never quite as satisfying as I’d hoped it would be. Often my solitude dissolved into sadness, and I didn’t have a particular reason why. My alone time wasn’t productive, and it just made me feel out of sorts. It was frustrating because I knew I needed time to myself, but I couldn’t stand to be alone. Once I began to get curious about the sadness and apathy I’d feel when I was alone, things started to shift. One day, I noticed that a particular script would begin to play in my mind over and over again. No matter what time of day or the len...

     There are many days that maybe just one more day to do nothing sound pretty good to me. Being well-rested & totally awake for the first time in life I have done different things. I am busted with energy. Eating different varieties. I took my Laptop and start to do many things. I need some action. For the last few weeks, I've been protecting my action, watching movies, chatting with my friends and family, which I never have time for. Sleeping as long as I like & have some of the best time of my life.          A black nothingness behind the door keeps me bringing food & I found I can order my food. I've got my day full sequential then. I wake up at 8 am without the alarm. I've learned different new things. It amazing which I've found inside me. Chatting With my friends, I realised, how you miss them all. I decided to call my relatives taking my day off. I talked with them Like there is no tomorrow. During the call, I realized t...

          Loneliness is a complication. New town, New Job, depression, social anxiety, low self-esteem, no friend, sometimes it's none of those things & sometimes it's all of them. Sometimes it's brief, sometimes it's more long-lasting. Sometimes it makes sense why & sometimes it doesn't make any sense at all.       There might be a simple solution for some, while for others there is not. You can see why it's so complication, just like with most thing there is no single common cause or cure. Nor is there a clear definition because how could we possibly define any element of something so abstract. If we look at the term loneliness online the first things that pop up is sadness because one has no friend or company. I wouldn't say that entirely true. It wasn't in my case at least.     For me, it was actually around the time when I was surrounded by people almost constantly, very rarely was I not accompanied by others, althoug...

Sometime the smallest of things trigger memories so strange & so beautiful that they leave us speechless.The small pieces of our past. They are always safe in our memories.  Memories are like chocolate boxes, once you can't stop at just one. The moment when you say goodbye, but her reach on stop me can't say our heart things. The time you far feel good for her But the time you go far away you love more & think better in life. Let's come in a topic.  I love my passion more than anything. So I am leaving you. I feel hard but I carried many unforgettable memories of big suitcase. I cannot forget it, the day , night, laugh, and our friendship and ... .I've run very fast towards my passion. What you are looking at? Time passing by us... I don't know why, but I'm making me miss home today. I don't feel this before for a long time but I forget it. Me & I are basically the same. People like us are vagabond for us, to wander is to live....

Love is simply the name for the desire and pursuit of the whole.-Plato, The ancient Greeks believed humans once had four arms, four legs, and a single head made of two faces. We were happy, complete. So complete that the gods,fearing our wholeness would quell our need for worship, cleaved us in two. Leaving our split selves to wander the Earth in misery. Forever longing, longing .......... longing for the other half of our soul. It is said that when one half finds its other, there's an unspoken understanding. A unity, and each would know no greater joy than this. Of course the ancient Greek never went to high school, or they had realise Crap. We don't need the god  to mess things up for us. If you ask me people spend far too much time to complete them. How many People find perfect love? or if they do, make it last? More  evidence of camus's theory that life is irrational & meaningless. And that, my friend , is some A-plus love philosophy right there or A-minus if...

Wow, did I actually say that out loud? Yes! So many people I talk to are tightlipped and straight-faced, nodding their head saying “not bad mate”, when what they really wanna say is “holy shit,  what the hell is going on!”Let’s get real for a minute. Everyone has challenges, everyone has goals and if you are not finding life really hard at the moment, then congratulations. Take stock for a moment and be grateful for everything you have in your life. Stop, write down everything that you’re grateful for and then help someone else. Teach them how you did what you did. Or, maybe you’re not stretching yourself enough. Maybe you are content to be in your comfort zone. For 95% of the population, that’s enough. “you can’t read the label from inside the jar.” However, if you are finding life challenging right now, it’s OK. Hang in there, it will get better. Just make sure you’re talking to someone and getting it out of your  system and getting a second perspective. I keep goin...

! Good friends care for each other…close friends understand each other, but TRUE FRIENDS stay forever…beyond words, beyond distance, beyond time…!”  Many of us have friends in our lives over the years. Some friends we make as children and then lose contact as we grow older. Other friends we make as adults and stay in touch with as long as we are in close proximity to and it is convenient to keep in touch but then over time one moves away or busy schedules slowly pull us  apart and we start to lose touch.  Those friendships fall into the “good friends” or “close friends” as the opening quote cites. But then there is that last group  of friends – those we call true friends – they are those we have a mutual caring about, and we understand each other’s hearts, and where bonds are formed between us that span any distance in proximity and where the bonds run so deep that no amount of time apart or lack of words will change the way we feel about that friend. ...

Love is alwaya patient & kind. It's never jealous. Love is never boastful nor conceited. It is never rude or selfish.It doesn't take offense  & is not resentful. Love takes no pleasure in other people's sins but delights in the truth. It's always ready to excuse to truth, to hope & the long journey ahead. I'll always miss love. But the love is like the wind, you can't see it but you can feel it. Love is the phenomina. It is the energy for the search of another energy. We know that love is emotion. love cannot be explain. words are limited to describe love. It's a frequency. It's feeling that can only express by the series of word than can give when squeshed someone so tight. And you can feel that energy. It's so beautiful. love is heeling.. Love is one of those thing that you can't speak about but you can only show.The expression of giving love ,is the practise of being loved. It can be express through your smile,expression through...

8-4-2020 I decided to do something different.So made a decision to be  high with the weed. And what thought comes in mind. I'll report it and present it as my next blog.After taking 5 bong. I was paranoid. After that i started to picture a great environment but i was unsuccessful for doing it.And i came in the  conclusion that weed decrease the thinking capacity. In the background, my brother play a song named Maa. It was a song from movie  Taare Zameen Par. I thought was a song for me. The lyrics was suitable for me. I started to think about my mother. I also afraid of many thing but to be strong i hide it from the rest of us. I don't say it to anyone but I always miss you Mom. I pretend to be happy without you but it kills me. Why don't I get happy by making happy to other people. But suddenly I remember my father and scold me for thinking bad cause I have mother as my father who take care of me, who help me for doing many things. I fucking realise why the...

Love is a complex set of emotions, behaviours, and beliefs associated with strong feelings of affection, protectiveness, warmth, and respect for another person. Love can also be used to apply to non-human animals, to principles, to religious beliefs. For example, a person might say he or she loves his or her dog, loves freedom, or loves God. Words are limited to describe love. Young people fall in love. Young men and young women fall in love. What does that mean?  That means that he saw in this women someone who felt could provide him with all his physical and emotional needs. And she felt in this man somebody she felt in this man that she can write that was love. but each one is looking out for their own needs. It's love for the other. The other person becomes a vehicle for me Too much of what is called love is fish love.  An external love is not on what I'm going to get but what I am going to give. According to ethicist  Rabbi Dessler who said, "the people make a s...

I believe mankind has looked at climate change in that same way: as if it were a fiction, as if pretending that climate change wasn’t real would somehow make it go away.But I think we know better than that. Every week , we’re seeing new and undeniable climate events, evidence that accelerated climate change is here right now. Droughts are intensifying, our oceans are acidifying, with methane plumes rising up from the ocean floor. We are seeing extreme weather events, and the West Antarctic and Greenland ice-sheets melting at unprecedented rates, decades ahead of scientific projections. None of this is rhetoric, and none of it is hysteria. It is fact. The scientific community knows it, industry knows it, governments know it, even the United States military knows it. The Chief of the U.S. Navy’s Pacific Command, Admiral Samuel Locklear, recently said that climate change is our single greatest security threat.My Friends, this body – perhaps more than any other gathering in human histo...

You’ve changed me. I used to see the world as black and white. Now everything is gray and messy, full of nuance and beauty because of you. In an alternate universe, we’ll still be together. A team ready for anything. But where I’m heading now, I have to go on my own. I want to be the man you think I am, so know I am doing this to do the right things. And that means saying GOODBYE. I know this is a difficult conversation. But I care about you very much. And that’s why it’s important that I set these boundaries moving forward, so I can built an environment, where we feel comfortable, trusted and open to sharing our feelings. The truth is for so long I’d forgotten what those even were. I‘ve been stuck in one place “in a cave” you might say. And then I left some egos out in the woods, and you came into my life and for the first time in a long time, I started to feel things. I started to feel happy. But lately, I guess I’ve been feeling distance from you. But I know you’re getting older...