report

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8-4-2020
I decided to do something different.So made a decision to be  high with the weed. And what thought comes in mind. I'll report it and present it as my next blog.After taking 5 bong. I was paranoid. After that i started to picture a great environment but i was unsuccessful for doing it.And i came in the  conclusion that weed decrease the thinking capacity.

In the background, my brother play a song named Maa. It was a song from movie  Taare Zameen Par. I thought was a song for me. The lyrics was suitable for me. I started to think about my mother. I also afraid of many thing but to be strong i hide it from the rest of us. I don't say it to anyone but I always miss you Mom. I pretend to be happy without you but it kills me. Why don't I get happy by making happy to other people. But suddenly I remember my father and scold me for thinking bad cause I have mother as my father who take care of me, who help me for doing many things. I fucking realise why there is no song for father.


I am a confused man. I don't know what I'll do next & why. I should follow my passion or do what makes me feel good man. I am confused because my love life is also not going on a track. Fuck I remember her after many days. I even don't know it is love or not. When you love a flower you water it, put manure on it , take good care of it. But I have done nothing. I am confused because I am in love with her or not.


Suddenly I realised the person whom I remember, I can feel his/her action but I don't see their faces.
Why it is? I don't know how far down the rabbit hole I need to go to explain to you.







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