Don't know

The very definition of humanity is changing as we know it, and that's only happened like three times ever. First, there is our gradual transition from hunter-gatherers to agriculture. Then, this part's gonna blow your mind. There is the flushable toilet, which I already fucked up, sorry everyone. Ignore my penmanship. And that is my favourite part. That is what's robbing us of our understanding of what it means to be human.

 It's destroying our emotional spectrum. There's only like or shame, pleasure or pain. All extremes, no grey, which is funny because it was our greyness that made us human all along. 

 So the sacred cow of the romantic ideal is monogamy. And the idea itself that it could be negotiated means already that something is missing. The conversation about infidelity and the conversation about the relationship is not the same. Because the essence of identity is secret. It's organised around a secret. 

The concept of an open relationship is that your explorations with others are not secret. And that notion that when I go to look for someone else, it's not always because I wanna get away from the person that I have myself become. It's not that I want to find somebody else, but I want to find another self. I think it's at the core of a lot of affairs. Some people are trying to reconcile two sets of values, two fundamental sets of human needs. It's to have one relationship in which, with you, I can have the anchor and the security, but I also have the freedom and the autonomy. And this improbable marriage between the feeling of belonging and the feeling of freedom with one person is probably the great challenge of modern love to date.

 We should be clear. I'm not recommending it, but that doesn't mean it's not valid. So, if you think of it as the thing that doesn't kill us but makes us stronger, then, yes. But I want you to imagine it less as a destination and more as a layover.